Step 1

Acting Relaxed
In order to alter our course toward escalation, the first step is always the same: we must find a way to relax. This is easy to say in words, but it can be a monumental task when you are enveloped in something genuinely terrifying. Even when we are deep into an emotional reaction, we have the ability to perform the behaviors that begin the process of cooling down. True, we may not get all the way to absolute calmness, but acting calm has the ability to transform a state of panic into a workable reality.

If we begin to slow down, our bodies will send positive messages to our brains. The message will say "all clear, everything is under control." This white flag of peace comes in the form of neurotransmitters and other chemicals that kick in our parasympathetic systems. This is how the body heals itself. We move toward a state of rest, and everything starts to become clear again: we sober up to our natural state of clarity.

William James, the "Father of Modern Psychology", believed that our physiological reactions actually create the emotional experience. This belief has formed the fundamental infrastructure upon which modern emotional psychology is built. The experience of emotion, according to the "James-Lange Theory", comes as a result of the brain's interpretation of the body's state of physiological arousal. I see a bear, I run, my heart pounds faster, I notice the arousal and experience that I am afraid. It is not the object of my fear, the bear in this case that is causing my fear, but the excited state of my body that defines the emotion.

The brain is merely an interpreter of what is going on in the world, which also includes the body. It does so through awareness of the body's current state of arousal. Once the brain has decided that the situation is dangerous due to the physiological escalation of the body, a "sympathetic" course of events is set in motion. The climate in the brain is altered to one of defense, and the kinds of thoughts that occur to us tend to reflect this worldview. This means that the more negative adrenalin we experience, the more negative our thought patterns tend to be.

James therefore asserted that if the physical changes in our bodies tend to be "parasympathetic" in nature, of calming and slowing down, the kinds of cognitions that tend to occur to us are more solution oriented and positive in nature. The "quiescent" systems alter not only our physical chemistry, but also our subjective experience. James' allegation here is that if we control our physiological state of arousal so as to allow our parasympathetic systems to kick in, we are more likely to survive in the long run. This is called emotional intelligence, the skill that separates us from the other animals of this planet.

The experience of fear is a given in the vast array of human experience. The direction of the initial process is not the determining factor in how situations ultimately evolve. The fact is, we have very little authority over our initial response. The cascading physiological changes begin instantaneously, as a result of our semi-conscious appraisal of the world during the moment in question. Although these "below water level" processes are mostly out of our control, the next move is entirely up to us. The real question is: "How can we minimize our emotional response to the world so that we can continue to make clear, logical decisions?" How do we maintain our composure once we have begun to feel fear?

Emotional responses can only be controlled by focusing our attention on the internal aspects of the experience. If we strive to elicit the opposite physiological experience, we will alter the trend toward escalation. Trying to de-escalate an emotion with mere cognition is like throwing rocks at a tornado. If you want to calm down, you have got to first address the symptoms of fear. If we strive to elicit the opposite physiological experience, says James, we will reduce our overall experience of fear. If, for instance, I choose not to walk faster down a dark city street, I will not become as afraid as I would if I engaged the emotion and all that it suggests in terms of action.

The connection between the mind and the body can be utilized to affect the course of our emotional experience. If we have the ability to manipulate the evolution of our physiological experience, we can redirect the subsequent cognition, and thus the outcome of events in a more positive manner. This was the very reason for which James chose to evolve this line of thinking: to demonstrate that the human race has the ability to chose our emotional reaction to the world. If we know how to de-escalate, we will be more in control over our reality.

Only peace can weave back together the fabric of sanity.

You will not feel calm at first. Do not let this worry you. When I am climbing to altitude with a prototype parachute on my back, I often have a starting point near panic. I notice myself rushing around, moving too fast, and that is my cue to start pretending that I am relaxed. Although it is just an act at first, soon I find my body and mind softening and slowing down to a healthy pace. Once I get into a slower internal rhythm, I regain control over myself, and thus increase my level of safety.

When I find my "sustainable speed", the task is merely to remain slow and in control. Each move I make becomes completely deliberate and methodical. I move like a tree sloth in the heat of summer. By moving through danger in relaxed balance, I dissolve the negativity. By pretending to relax, I have transformed the situation.

If you cannot calm down, there is no hope. In order to remain calm enough to maintain a totally clear head, you must maintain continuous awareness of your arousal level so that any escalation in the emotional tone will be quickly recognized. By doing this, we establish an emotional benchmark to which the current state is compared. All cognitions and behaviors are directed toward the goal of defending the status quo of a low arousal level and peaceful emotional tone. The lower the baseline emotional energy, the easier it is to notice increases in the arousal level.

The previous is an excerpt from Brian Germain's Book: Transcending Fear, The Doorway to Freedom
Click here to Order Now